Couple discovers Masuda method after child born Shiny
|The contents of this article are a hoax. |
Do not take them seriously.
"We wish to tell everyone who is listening that so-called 'Shiny children' are a fiction. They do not exist, and they will never exist. The stories you have read about them are works of fantasy and are not grounded in reality."
A representative for a Police Task Force said that at a recent news conference following the arrests of Mr. Jacques Tremblay and Ms. Heather Donahue on a multitude of conspiracy and fraud charges.
The staff at Bulbanews are deeply sorry for reporting on such falsehoods, and we emphasize that we are not under any duress in reporting these vital facts to you, our esteemed readers. Again, we are sorry. Sorry.
Reports have come in that the Ontario Ministry of Children and Youth Services have taken the young Tremblay into protective custody. Officials from the service were not available to comment on the circumstances.
"This is just insane. The government just barged into my home, took my daughter, and also confiscated our cameras. We just got her home today!" Jacques Tremblay told the press.
A Canadian couple received the surprise of their life after their child was born alternately colored, or "Shiny" as it is known in the community. Jacques Tremblay, 27, of Quebec and his partner Heather Donahue, 24, of Nova Scotia are now members of thousands of families across the globe who have Shiny children.
"Before they changed the mechanics in Generation VI, it used to be much more difficult to achieve the Masuda method in humans. The two parents had to be from two completely different regions. Now, they just need to speak different languages." Prof. Vladimir Poehnert of the University of Edmonton explained. He has been doing genetic research on shininess in humans for thirty-years. "I predict that we'll see many more cases of this to come in the near future. My colleagues in America are noticing more incidences of this phenomena in the southern United States."
Tests performed on the Tremblay's daughter confirmed that she is their offspring. "My goodness, we were so surprised when we first saw her." her pediatrician commented. "But when we looked, her Shiny value matched that of her father! We still don't know how it got there."
Expecting parents who are curious on if their children may be Shiny are encouraged to speak to their doctors, though testing is still in its infancy. A quick monitor known as "InfaCheck" was recalled earlier this year due to safety concerns.